


I Remember It All Too Well

by Kieran (Ameenjouee)



Series: Team Swipsy fics [1]
Category: DCU, Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, canon character death, canon event mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:07:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22645366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameenjouee/pseuds/Kieran
Summary: "I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to."If there was any decision Dick regretted in his life, it was ever involving Jericho in some screwed up desire for revenge that wasn't even his own.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Joseph Wilson, Dick Grayson & Titans
Series: Team Swipsy fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694977
Kudos: 29





	I Remember It All Too Well

The first thing that had registered after Dick had met - interacted with - Jericho was how _innocent_ the kid was. 

He was damaged in much the same way everyone on the team was, sure, but there was something more pure about him, all wide eyed and bright smiles and full body movement tying into his signing and _wow_ Dick hadn’t thought it through beyond making contact. 

But it was hard not to get swept into that enthusiasm, trading records and falling into a real smile the second Jericho turned away from him just for the smallest moment only to be replaced with his perfected _Boy Wonder_ smile instead.

He had to remember that this wasn’t someone he could let himself get close to. This was for a job. 

* * *

Two more times meeting him at the record store - one unplanned, one not - and Dick knew his resolve was breaking because it was impossible not to absolutely adore Jericho.

He was a nice breath of fresh air against his friends, full of hope and wonder despite his own demons. 

Dick had always wanted to be able to be that kind of person. 

Just his luck, he thought, that the first person he’d ever met that gave him hope for himself was the same one that he had to use for something that he couldn’t even care about anymore.

But that second one, seeing Jericho use a _power_ against someone? God, that had startled him. It shook him up enough that he personally left without purchasing anything, offering the kid a ride home and turning over his personal number because what the hell else was he supposed to do?

He was in over his head and it was weeks too late to back out. 

That drive had been interesting. Dick still remembers every sudden stop he had to make, every almost U-turn, every single time he’d thrown his arm out to keep Jericho from ending up hitting his head on the dash because of _his_ careless driving. 

And he remembers his eyes staying on Jericho more than on the road. Half because he had no damn idea where he was going without directions from the other and half because he was trying to rewrite his entire plan in his head instead of just discarding it how he really wanted to. 

Just his luck, his mouth seemed to know how to redirect better than his brain, because as soon as he pulled to a stop to let Jericho out of the car, a “some friends of mine and I are having a get together on the beach this weekend, you’re welcome to come and meet them” left him unbidden, followed by another too-practiced smile. 

The agreement got a chuckle out of him and he nodded, waving with a ‘see you then’ as he pulled back onto the road to head back home. 

* * *

By the time the weekend rolled around, aside from telling the rest of the team about the beach meeting - gaining enthusiastic agreement from Hank for a change, and a shrug from both Donna and Dawn, which Dick took to mean ‘that’s fine’ - he’d almost forgotten all about his plan involving Jericho. 

It was so easy to forget, really, especially when there was a message come through from Jericho confirming he’d try to be there. 

And then someone would say something and it would set Donna off, and Dick went right back from just being a friend to being a _leader_. 

When they had become so different, he didn’t know. But he was starting to hate being a leader. 

At the beach, though, the teasing “I thought you blew us off” left him, a natural grin showing as the group settled into chatter and teasing at Hank’s expense. 

_This_ is how it was supposed to be. Not the entire group playing into a shitty plan to use someone to get to their family over a loss that, honestly, he wasn’t even sure anyone had the energy to _care_ about anymore - save for Donna. Donna was always angry about it, and really, Dick would avoid her as long as he could most days for it. 

It was supposed to be dumb jokes and him choking up on smoke from a fire and talking to Jericho about albums they were both excited about, words loose and open instead of tinted with the burden he carried. 

And it didn’t seem like Jericho noticed the shift at all. 

Which was good, if a little sad. 

A little startling, too, because if he hadn’t noticed then… well, it wouldn’t be the first thing that struck Dick about the other as completely pure. 

Settling into talking, though, it was a shock to Dick’s system to have Jericho talk about his dad. 

And sure, he’d prompted it himself, but his eyes only steered to Dawn for clarification once in the entire conversation and it was upon learning that there wasn’t a connection anymore. Not one they could use. 

For the first time in ages, a small flower of hope bloomed in his chest, only for him to stamp it out again. 

That night was the first night Jericho fit into his group of friends, and it felt so natural that he didn’t know how to handle it. 

It found him talking to Dawn most of that night back at the tower, but nothing got figured out. 

* * *

Jericho showing up at the tower, practically moving in? That had never been part of the plan.

But Dick couldn’t hate it, either, because it made everything convenient and because as long as the he was around, things didn’t feel like they were just one big bomb waiting to go off at the worst moment. 

It was hard, though. Him being around came with an admittance of what he’d been doing. 

And there was _no reaction_. 

So Jericho had known. 

He’d known Dick had been using him and he still willingly came around. 

Some people would always be a mystery to him, and he never thought that Jericho would be one of them, and yet here they were. 

* * *

He called it off. Their entire plan, he didn’t want to do it anymore once Jericho knew. It felt wrong, like he was taking advantage of someone he cared for, and with everything else going on, _that_ was the last thing that he needed. 

But that lasted only so long. Once Donna got hurt - of course it was Donna, it was _always_ Donna, if Dick didn’t love her so much, he would have left her to die there and not looked back out of sheer exhaustion at her anger at this point - all bets were off. 

The promise he made to Jericho to stay away so he could talk to his dad was thrown out - there were more deaths on the man’s hands, and Dick was _so, so_ tired. 

And he knew that, despite the hurt he saw in Jericho’s expression, in his sign, that everyone standing in that church knew he was breaking. 

Slade knew it, and it made him dangerous. 

And then, just like that, Jericho’s gone. 

Dead. Hell, Dick barely knows what happened, it was all a blur of movement and pain and then _quiet_. 

He’d been honest there at the end, and it had cost him the first person in his life that had given him hope, the first _real thing_ against a world of masks and secrets. 

* * *

He kept the records. Some of them, anyway. Others were returned to Jericho’s mother, shipped in a box without a return address. 

But the one he’d traded to Jericho that first day stayed mixed in with his own records. 

He never touched it, but seeing it was enough most days to at least help him drag himself out of bed to face an empty tower that no longer felt like home. 

It gave him a feeling of peace that, really, he didn’t deserve. 

But he was selfish. That’s all that was left of who he had been before, so he may as well use it to keep himself going. 


End file.
